On Lent

I was raised in the Southern Baptist church.  We didn’t do Lent.  That was a Catholic thing, or so I thought.  My first real introduction to Lent came my freshman year of college.  I ran into my buddy Laura walking around campus on a sunny Wednesday afternoon.  Laura asked me if I was going to the Ash Wednesday service on campus.  I didn’t have anything else planned for the afternoon, so I decided to go with her.

Image borrowed from The Jesse Lee Project | http://jesseleeproject.org/2012/03/11/a-pastoral-prayer-for-lent/

I don’t remember details of the service, but I felt prompted to give something up for the 40 days before Easter.  It amazes me at how difficult it is for me to change one thing in my life for 40 days.  It wasn’t super easy for me, but I gave up carbonated drinks.  My cherry coke addiction often got the better of me, but I did it.

That’s probably the only time I could say I’ve “successfully” participated in Lent.  Every year since then, I’ve tried to give something up or add a new “good” habit, and just about every time I’ve failed miserably.  I usually feel like a failure during Lent, but this year, I’ve thought about it a little differently.  Do I fail because I’m human and imperfect?  Absolutely.  That’s the point.  Lent is there to remind me of my weakness and my need for God’s mercy every day.

I’m participating in Lent again this year.  I don’t like to share my Lenten practices publicly, because I don’t want to feel like I’m “showing off” my piety or being “holier than thou,” etc.  I feel like it ought to be something between you and God.  And again, I’m failing to hold up my end of the deal.  I’m limping through Lent this year.  It helps me remember that I limp through life all the time.  In my arrogance, I daily forget I need God.  I’m grateful for this season and the reminders it brings me.  I pray that you remember your need for God this season, and every day after.

Hey, I’m on a podcast! | The Monsters at the End of This Podcast

Hello friends!

I’m totally embarrassed that I’ve not told you all about the new podcast I’m co-hosting.  Let me explain how this new adventure got started.

Maybe about a month or so before I quit my job, I was wrestling with the “what-to-do-if-I-quit” thing.  I really wanted to be self-employed, but I didn’t know how (and I’m still learning).  I’d noticed through the magic of Facebook that my friend Jonathan had been running his own chainmaille jewelry business out of his living room for a little bit and seemed to be doing pretty well, so I messaged him to find out what that was all about.  After a couple of long, rambling, and really helpful conversations, Jonathan helped me to sort out some more philosophical theories of how I felt about work, vocation, and career.  This was the beginning.

A couple months later, I get a phone call from Jonathan, and he makes me an offer I simply can’t refuse.

“Ashley, would you like to co-host a podcast with me?”

Ashley the self-diagnosed Podcast Junkie simply could not say no to such a proposition.  We decided to name this little endeavor, The Monsters at the End of This Podcast, for one of our favorite books, The Monster at the End of This Book, but also for the process of vocational/emotional/spiritual/mental transformation we have experienced through our work.  All of our work experiences either good or ill, have helped us to become who we are, the people or (Monsters) we are supposed to be.

And there you have it, folks.  The adventures of two self-employed geeks trying to figure out work and life–this is our podcast.  I’d love it and be honored if you’d check it out.  Here’s how you can do that.

You can subscribe through iTunes, RSS feed, and check out our podcast page for a list of topics we’ve covered so far.  We’ve got three episodes under our belts so far and there will be many more to come.  Comment here if you’re interested, or if you’re maybe even a listener!  It’s nice to know we’re not just talking to the air.

Rockport Write-Up: My Adventures at the Northern Shores Writer’s Retreat

Today’s post is my long awaited write-up on The Northern Shore’s Writer’s Retreat I attended in January.  I’ve found that in many cases, it takes me almost a month to truly process everything that happens in a retreat, so I apologize for the delay.  I hope you enjoy and I appreciate your patience with me.  

I spent the weekend in Rockport, Massachusetts going on a month and a half ago. This was my first real adventure above the Mason-Dixon Line, aside from a couple of brief choir tours to Baltimore and DC. I had great company for the weekend–two of my dearest friends–Jen Rose and Chris Yokel. Aside from being lit geeks, ardent Rabbit Room followers, and Hutchmoot attendees, the main thing the three of us have in common is that we all write in some form or fashion. We were attending the Northern Shores Writer’s Retreat, which I will highly recommend for anyone considering doing writing of any sort, but particularly writing for hire. We heard good advice and great encouragement from the likes of Karl Giberson, Alissa Wilkinson, Jonathan Merritt, Lil Copan, Peter Enns, and John Wilson. Each speaker brought a little something different to the table. They were all willing to sit down and answer questions and chat with conference attendees; there were no “rock stars,” present at the conference, simply writers helping other writers. I love that.

The conference was really great for me, especially on nuts and bolts sorts of things in the writing game. I must confess that I’ve felt like I’ve done nothing, but spin my wheels with writing over the past few months. I don’t like that. This conference really equipped me with the tools I needed to get started.  I am particularly grateful for the sessions I attended with Alissa Wilkinson on “Doing the Work” and Jonathan Merritt’s “A Long Obedience.”

Alissa’s sessions were incredibly helpful for me on what to do and what not to do as a new writer.  Lord knows I’m scared to death to send a query letter the wrong way and sometimes I feel paralyzed even to write.  I feel much more confident now in what I ought to be doing.  The biggest take away I have from her sessions–show up.  If I worked a regular 9-5 job and never showed up for work, or maybe I showed up, but sat at my desk playing on Facebook or played Spider Solitaire or something all day, I’d get my butt fired really quick.  If I were the boss of me, which, guess what, I am, I’d fire myself in a hot second.  I realized that I’ve hardly shown up and “worked” in the past few months that I’ve been on this adventure in self-employment.  It’s a daily struggle.  Mulling this session over left me ashamed at my laziness and encouraged to do the right thing.

So there’s that.  Shortly thereafter, I attended Jonathan Merritt’s session based on a quote originally said by Friedrich Nietzsche, but later modified by Eugene Peterson, “Christianity is a long obedience in the same direction.”  Jonathan likened this “long obedience” to the work of a writer.  Writing is doing the hard thing, taking the lousy writing jobs that no one wants, getting the experience, getting up everyday and doing the work of writing that is both love and hate, fear and joy, and for me in particular, euphoria and torture.

So far, I’ve been pretty terrible at this “long obedience.”  But today, I’m trying to be a little less terrible.  I’m grateful that I attended this conference.  I think you should go with me next year.

Longing for Home

Today I am experiencing a deep longing.  Two weekends ago, I went on a writer’s retreat in Rockport, Massachusetts (blog post forthcoming) with my Hutchmoot pals, Jen and Chris.

Motif #1, the most famous landmark in Rockport

The retreat was excellent and was very helpful for me as a new writer.  I think, however, what I really needed more than the advice and knowledge I gained from the retreat, was the fellowship of my friends.

The three of us live in totally different places and are separated by over a thousand miles from north to south, and really our little gang of Weird Rabbits isn’t truly complete without my husband, Ryan, and Jen’s sister, Sherri.  But even in this tiny reunion, that little taste of sweet fellowship the three of us shared was cool water to my parched soul.  On Saturday, we slipped out of the retreat for an adventure in Rockport, making a pilgrimage to T. S. Eliot’s “Dry Salvages.” I treasured every second.  Walking along the beach, cold wind in my face, warm sun on my back, breathing in the salt air, I felt more at ease than I had in months.  We walked along until we found some large rocks to sit on and soak in the glorious afternoon sun.  While we were on no mountain, I was having a “mountain top” experience on that rock.  I sat with my arms wrapped around these two friends, feeling the Spirit move over us in the breeze.  I was home.

That little line of rocks is T. S. Eliot’s “Dry Salvages”

Chris and Jen have both written about a sense of place and longing for a home you’ve never seen.  I’ve felt both of those things significantly over the past two years.  I’ve learned more and more that home for me is not a place.  Home is people.  People that I love, people that by some miraculous grace return that same affection for me, people that understand and accept me for exactly who I am.  It’s not my love for Nashville and my Tennessee homeland that makes Hutchmoot a home for me.  We could have Hutchmoot in Antarctica and I would still be at home, as long as I am surrounded by the sweet community I’ve found in The Rabbit Room.  It wasn’t the drum roll of beautiful waves on the shoreline and the cool breeze tousling my hair in Rockport; it was the presence of my dear friends.  I ache for our next reunion.  This longing isn’t a bad thing; it is a drawing in, a beckoning of our Creator to a greater understanding of His Kingdom.  Andrew Peterson calls it a “window in the world,” a glimpse of the

Rockport Rock with Chris, Jen, and me | Photo courtesy of Chris Yokel

divine wedding feast to be revealed.

It’s a window in the world
A little glimpse of all the goodness getting through
And all along the way
The days are made of little moments of truth
–Andrew Peterson, “Windows in the World”

Sitting on that rock with two of my best friends was a window for me.  Enjoying their company was a glimpse of the goodness of the Kingdom getting through, like sunlight pouring through the window panes.  I savored that moment of truth with them.  I’m still savoring it.  I’m longing for a home I’ve not seen before, but have experienced just the same.  Wherever life may take me, I know that we will all be feasting at that table together.  Then truly, we will be home.

Call for Papers – UNC-Charlotte Potter Watch Conference 2013

The Future of Harry Potter the 2013 PotterWatch Conference at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte
April 6, 2013
Charlotte, NC

The Harry Potter series has been translated into more than 60 languages, inspired a multi-million dollar theme park, and prompted the creation of an International Quidditch Association comprised of hundreds of teams. What began as a British children’s story became an international best-selling series– yet with the release of the final Deathly Hallows movie and the conclusion of midnight-premiere traditions, fans and scholars are left wondering what the future of Harry Potter will be. Harry Potter panels are being removed from academic conferences yet Universal Studios is expanding the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. What’s next for the Harry? Will the books stand the test of time? How have fans ensured the longevity of the series?

This April, PotterWatch, the official Harry Potter club of UNC Charlotte will be hosting an academic conference primarily focusing on the future of the Harry Potter fandom, however, we invite submissions of all paper topics in relation to the Harry Potter series, from all academic disciplines.

Suggested topics include:

• Harry Potter in the academic setting
• Fan responses to the series (fan-fiction, wizard rock, quidditch, etc.)
• Generational appeal (the crossover novel)
• Harry Potter online (Pottermore, Tumblr, online communities)
• Warner Brothers and the Potter franchise

To be considered for presentation, please submit a 250-word abstract for individual papers or panel proposals to unccpotterconference@gmail.com by February 15, 2013. Please include the paper title, your name (and names of all panel presenters if applicable), your institution, and your affiliation (faculty, student, other). Individual presentations should be 10-15 minutes in length, while panel presentations should last for 45 minutes. Graduate and undergraduate students are encouraged to submit proposals.

For more information on the conference, go to http://www.potterwatchconference.com/#!

Music Review: Bright Came the Word from His Mouth by Matthew Clark

Do you like the Bible?  Do you like concept albums?  If so, then Bright Came the Word from His Mouth by Matthew Clark may be your favorite record in 2013.  

I’ve been given the opportunity to hear a pre-release copy of this album, and to summarize my thoughts in a word, I can really only choose, “WOW.”  I’ve listened to Christian music for most of my life.  Some good, some fair, some much less than good.  I’d put Matthew Clark’s latest project near the top of the heap.  The album is inspired by the book, The Epic of Eden by Wesley Biblical Seminary professor, Dr. Sandra Richter.  Asbury Seminary is creating a DVD series to go along with the book, and after speaking with Dr. Richter, Matthew was asked to create the soundtrack for the DVD series.

Bright Came the Word from His Mouth is a largely acoustic guitar driven record, featuring beautiful and subtly done piano, keyboard, and percussion work, and background vocals from Andrew Osenga.  The record is a beautiful work of art, featuring producer, Mitch Dane, who has worked with other big name artists, such as Jars of Clay, J. J. Heller, and Caedmon’s Call.

The whole album feels like a journey to me, a story if you will.  Especially when the first track, “Overture,” opens with the lines,

Gather all you who will, hear of the God, slain for his children’s sin
Come the story recall, all he has done, to bring his family home.

Any album that opens in storybook form is a good one in my book. “Overture,” is simply that, a great opening track telling the story of the album–Creation, the calling of Israel, the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and his return to set the world anew.  Clark’s lyrical storytelling is excellent, reminiscent of Andrew Peterson’s brilliant Christmas record, Behold the Lamb of God.  

Standout tracks for me on the record are “Let Go the Floodgates” (I’m a sucker for a good kick drum), “Father Without a Child,” “The People of God,” “Where I am You May Also Be,” and “Redemption Song.”  This music stirs up my heart like few other albums can.  Every song alludes to Christ and his redemption, his mercy, and justice.  He has come to make all things new and every track on the album is an outpouring of this new creation.

The best feel I can give you for the album without spoiling the whole thing for you (seriously, you have to hear this for yourself) are the three choruses in “Father Without a Child,” which are told within the story of the Covenant with Abraham, God’s promise to make him a father of many nations, His promise of a son for Abraham, and God sealing the covenant by his own blood.

You’re a Father without a child
I’m a Father who’s lost his children
Follow me, Abraham
I will bring them, bring them, bring them home

I’m a Father without a child
You’re a Father who’s lost his children
Lord I am in your hands
Can we bring them, bring them, bring them home?

Hear the Father of all cry out
See a son laid upon the altar
One day the knife will fall
Just to bring them, bring them, bring them home.

To learn more about Bright Came the Word from His Mouth, Matthew Clark, and how to support this project, you can check out Matthew’s website here and his indiegogo site here. The album is set for release in January 2013.

Hutchmoot 2012: You Are Not Alone

I returned home a few weeks ago from Hutchmoot.  The long weekend was exactly what my dry and thirsty soul needed.  Being reunited with friends from last year, new friends we’d only previously met online, and being immersed in a long weekend filled with Christ-centered music, talks, writing, acting, and fellowship is a cure for all ills…for me at least.

Coming to Hutchmoot, my head was filled with stress, my heart was filled with worry, and my body was in a state of utter exhaustion.  I was in the process of quitting my job, closing one of my three stores and prepping to do inventory at the other two stores upon my return.  I felt lucky to even be going to the conference.  Even then, I was afraid that I’d spend the whole weekend getting phone calls from work, spend the whole time thinking about work, and maybe that with all that was going on, taking two days off to attend the conference isn’t something I should be doing.

I was wrong.

We walked into Church of the Redeemer and were greeted with warm hellos, and “Hey, you made it!” (Nashville traffic on Thursday afternoon was atrocious).  We snuck into the sanctuary, just in time for announcements and were greeted with hugs and big hellos from our friends Sherri, Jen, and Chris.  The place was packed.  During the registration in March, the conference sold out in 7 minutes, allowing around 80 more attendees than anticipated to get in  before registration could be closed.  The energy and excitement in the room was tangible.  For a conference largely attended by self-proclaimed introverts (I am not included in this group), there were no wallflowers to be found in the crowd.  Announcements were given by our conference coordinator and Master of Ceremonies, A. S. “Pete” Peterson, and then we were off to a taste of Heaven’s table courtesy of Evie Coates, Lewis Graham, and the magnificent kitchen staff.  The weariness I’d felt coming in to the conference began to fade.  An evening of acoustic songs, originals and excellent covers, awaited us after dinner courtesy of the Square Peg Alliance.  One phrase kept echoing through my mind as I heard these songs and immersed myself in the fellowship:

You are not alone.

Friday was a day full of sessions, talks, laughter, more amazing food (incredible coffee too), and an evening topped off with the release show for Light for the Lost Boy.  As I mentioned in my review, this concert was the culmination of my healing.  I’d felt so weary for so long, I didn’t realize that how deep my hurts went.

The servants of the secret fire were gathered there
The embers of the ages like a living prayer
And all at once I saw the shadows flee
Shine Your Light on me
Be a light unto my path
And a lamp unto my feet
- Andrew Peterson, “Shine Your Light on Me”

Again, these Servants of the Secret Fire spoke the words I needed to hear:

You are not alone.

After Friday’s concert, I was a bundle of crazy energy.  I couldn’t stop grinning; I couldn’t stop laughing; I couldn’t stop talking!  An evening of shenanigans followed with our “Weird Rabbit” gang (Jen, Chris, Sherri, Ryan and myself), in which I laughed a whole lot, made bad jokes, and probably embarrassed my husband and all our friends with my giddiness.  It was awesome.  Proverbs 15:15b says, “…the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.”  My heart was feasting.  I heard it again.

You are not alone.

More of the same blend of excellence was to be had Saturday–great sessions, talks, laughter, food, coffee, fellowship, and a fantastic keynote from Phil Vischer (that’s right folks, Bob the Tomato was at Hutchmoot!).  I kept thinking, “This can’t possibly get any better!”

Inaccurate.

The last item on our schedule for the evening was a little something called, “Reveille.”  Really, it was a bit confusing.  ”Reveille” after all is a wake-up song, not an 8 o’ clock at night song.  We all were waiting in the sanctuary with excited chatter, when none other than Andrew Osenga walks onto the stage in a Space Suit.  You heard me, Space Suit!  Andy O. rocked out with a full band, performing the entirety of his latest record, Leonard the Lonely Astronaut including a few B-sides from the record as well.   (Reveille is the name of his Rocket Ship in which he built himself, and if memory serves correctly, recorded the record).  An absolutely phenomenal show was  given and Andrew truly brought down the house.  Hutchmoot is not the typical place for a rock show, but this was an all out rock show.  I loved every minute!  Through the excitement and the cheers, I heard it again.

You are not alone.

Hutchmoot Sunday is always a more reserved day.  Everyone is a bit tired from a full weekend, but I think I’ve never felt a greater sense of sadness at the end of a conference.  To quote fellow ‘Mootian, Brenda Branson, “Now I truly understand why the disciples wanted to make tabernacles on the mountain top and stay there with the Lord.”  I had no desire to make the long drive back to Charlotte.  Pete kept assuring us that Hutchmoot 2012 would go out with a bang.  Pete is not in the habit of making empty promises.  The conference ended with a surprise dramatic performance of the book of Philippians.  Yes, you did read that correctly a performance of the book of Philippians, courtesy of Stephen Trafton, Broadway actor (Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables), member of the Church and Art network, and brother-in-law to Pete Peterson.  Stephen did a one man retelling of the book of Philippians.  Reciting the book in its entirety, including references to Paul’s journeys that lead him up to the letter, audience participation, and leaving us with the question, “How have you been changed?”  I think everyone in attendance can no longer read Philippians without hearing Stephen’s voice.  I know I can’t.  How have I been changed?  I heard it again.

You are not alone.

From the point of entry at this conference to the final chorus of “Doxology,” the Holy Spirit truly covered me.  For months I’d felt alone and afraid.  Last year, Andrew Peterson gave me permission to call myself a writer.  Throughout the course of the year, Hutchmoot folks gave me permission to pursue this crazy dream of becoming a writer.  Finally, I gave myself permission to do this.  As another ‘Mootian, Laura Peterson so eloquently put it at the end of the first Hutchmoot, “It’s nice to know I’m not the only Gonzo.”  Again, I hear the Lord’s voice in these words.

You are not alone.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
- C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves

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If even after this blog post you still have no idea what a Hutchmoot is, watch the video below.  I hope Andrew can help you understand the excellence of the conference.